Friday Funny: How To Safely Witness to a Dispy

The whole article is found here, but here is a summary of points:

(1) When approaching a dispensationalist, never — never! — walk up from behind. They are always looking up, absorbed in contemplation, eagerly awaiting the Rapture.

(2) In fact, if you really want to be successful in your witness to dispensationalists, buy a convertible and let them actually see you drive up in it. They will realize how seriously you take the any-moment Rapture and how prepared you are for it.

(3) If you are earnest in your desire to effectively witness to dispensationalists, you should always have a Scofield Reference version of the King James Bible with you.

(4) I highly recommend also that you carefully fray the pages of the Book of Revelation.

(5) Though some Reformed evangelists discourage this in our litigious society, I believe that it is always a good idea to accidentally bump dispensationalists when first approaching. This proves to them that you are literal, and not some spiritual interpretation.

(6) Before you open your mouth to speak, let them see the colorful charts you have carefully placed in your shirt pocket.

(7) When you first begin speaking to the unwary dispensationalist, end each sentence with a confident sounding: “according to biblical prophecy.” They will hear this and be intrigued.

(8) A good conversation starter would be something on the order of: “Did you read in the news there was another earthquake? How many does that make this year? Don’t you enjoy living like a person who doesn’t expect to be around much longer? I know I do.”

On a serious note: For an intro to a better worldview watch this available on the Canon plus app for free.